First, forgive me, gentle readers, but I have a message for spammers, because I have gotten many:  – No Spammers, please.  I don’t buy from spammers.  Please show some respect.

I have journeyed through mental illness with loved ones, starting with my little sister, then with my dear friend’s son, then with my own son.  I chose to learn everything I could about it, everything, from many different viewpoints, such as Nami, Orthomolecular Healing, Chumash, psychological, and soul centered.  Another way I learned was from friendships with people with similar mental illnesses.  I tried to be a blessing to these friends, and also learned a great deal from these friendships.

I relied completely on God to get me through the hardest parts and developed my relationship with God much more than ever before.  I began communicating with God about these issues very much, and asked repeatedly for miracles, agreeing to do whatever was required of me to assist in the miracles manifesting … and received many miracles that came together to form the large miracle of my son, B.J., doing so wonderfully now.  I knew I needed as much knowledge as possible, so I could be a good assistant to God in helping to manifest the miracles I requested.

At the lowest point, B.J. thought everyone were aliens and no longer recognized even one person in the world.   He was utterly alone in a living hell and did not respond to any of the medications they tried.  They had predicted that he would have to spend the rest of his life in a locked mental hospital, as he was unable to provide for his survival at all.  He had become so thin that he was skeletal, when he was finally gotten into the hospital.  I would go to see him all the time and find him trembling so hard.  I could not comfort him, because he did not know or trust me.

Today, approximately 8 years later, B.J. is of very clear mind and very peaceful and loving heart, living a joyous life, and getting better all the time.  He is his psychiatrist’s (Dr. G.) star patient.  Dr. G. always seems surprised at how much better my son is doing.  He says this improvement will continue until there will be nothing at all my son cannot do.   He is on the most advanced medication (Invega Sustenna) that is worlds apart from all the other ones, and I got this information from several sources.  I can see the difference first hand, because I had been through it all with my little sister, previously.  Nothing ever took away the voices that plagued her until her dying day.  There is one other medication in the same class as this one, but I forget the name of it.  Invega Sustenna is very expensive.  That it has been approved for my son is one of the miracles.   God accomplished this with the assistance of the doctors and nurses and social workers who came to care for B.J. and fought for him to have this medication, resubmitting the applications again and again and again, refusing to accept defeat.

I had to give up a lot to help my son to heal.  I think we need to do whatever God requires, when we ask for miracles.  We have to do our part.  The man I had been engaged to made me choose between him and my ill son.  I had to face this alone, with a broken heart on top of being  in grief for the pain my son was experiencing and also terrified that I might not be able to handle it all.  I had to move out of the house I shared with my fiance, in order to establish a home where my son could come to heal.I also took in my ex-husband, D. who had previously been violent with me, so many years ago when we were together, and who I had to leave because of that.  Now I had to help support both D. and our son.  My business, which had been building for years, suffered because I didn’t have as much time to work as before. I went heavily into debt and ended up having to file bankruptcy.

D. had eventually become much less violent, but still had quite a temper and many maladaptive behaviors when he moved in with us.  D. had been homeless for over 7 years, prior to coming to live with us, so he was overjoyed at again having a home.  Because my business was home based, I was able to be here to supervise and to assist at all times, but B.J. needed constant attention, when he first came home, or he would wander off.  His dad played Go Fish” with B.J. hours and hours upon end.  And they smoked like chimneys… not something I enjoyed having around, but something I had come to understand through Nami classes that helps with they symptoms even better than most medications.

I had to help D. to heal, as well.  There were many reasons he had developed the destructive behaviors that had ruined his life.  I came to understand the reasons, bit by bit, and to work with him to become a calmer, more peace-filled man.  D’s sister told me that she considered it like I was raising two special needs children, and that is pretty close to how I saw it, too.  I devoted my life to helping our son and his father to heal, and it has been utterly worth it.

D. passed away from cancer two months ago.  We didn’t have a car for the first year after D’s diagnosis, and it was a grueling trip each way to CalVets in LA, so D. chose to stay there for his medical treatments.   He was able to sometimes come home for long weekend visits.  Unfortunately, his illness was terminal.  I was finally able to scrape up enough money for a car, and we were able to make visits with D. towards the end of his illness.  He chose me to help him transition from primarily physical life to the non physical, as I have learned a lot about this during my life, and also as he had come to trust me.  It was an honor and I am so grateful that I was able to make a difference for him during that vulnerable and sacred time.

There is no one on earth that our son loves more than his dad, so this was a very great loss for him.   I was extremely worried about what affect it would have on his mental state, because until recently, emotional upsets would cause him to decompensate.   Thank God, B.J. had healed to the extent that this did not happen this time.  Also, his great love for his father helped him to open his senses to remain in communication with his dad on the other side, which has been a great comfort.

I have been long able to sense and communicate with loved ones on the other side, and have taught individuals about it.  I know many people do not believe this is possible and have judgments about this, so I don’t tell just everyone about my abilities because of that, but I consider it a great blessing.  I find it is something that most people are able to learn, if they are open.  Our son now found that he also has the ability, so we have been blessed with being able to stay in relationship with D., after his transition.   I have learned a lot about D. since his death, from people who were in his life while I was not.  I am proud of him and tell him, in my heart, often.  I feel very connected with D. though our heart centers.  I can truly say that I love D. more than ever and wish to honor his memory in whatever ways I find open.

D. was also quite an artist in many mediums including  sculpting, beading, painting, and drawing.  One way I honor him is that I made greeting cards of his last beautiful painting, and have given cards to whomever I saw that loved him.  His painting is also going to be featured in the new design of a website I am making for a couple of men who do incredible men’s healing work that is based on indigenous healing.

The reason they asked to use this painting is because it reflects indigenous energies very vividly.  D. was part Chumash and was very involved in the American Indian Movement for 15 years. D. became a master of native American skills.  He was a fire starter, built sweat lodges, participated in many types of Chumash ceremonies, made indigenous drums and other sacred instruments, did peyote stitch beadwork, and danced in Sundances across the country for 12 years.

I also painted a picture of him, depicting him young and vital, and joyously drumming his djembe.  I made greeting cards of this, too, and have also given these cards to those who loved him.  I will still send one of each of these cards to anyone who desires them.

To honor D., I like to tell people about him, and will tell you more about him here.  Please keep reading, if interested.

He was a Vietnam vet, spoke Chumash, Lakota, and Sanskrit. He was brilliant, passionate, funny & creative, and put his whole heart into whatever he did.

D. was very gifted and extremely talented. He knew a great deal concerning the human body. He was an E.M.T., healing arts practitioner, masseuse, Ti Chi practitioner, and became a self taught medical student at the end of his life.

An outstanding musician, D. started with the trumpet and later went on to master indigenous drums, guitar and mandolin. He also sang and wrote many beautiful songs.

Gardening was another of D’s passions. Using heirloom seeds, he planted a garden on the Cal Vets grounds, which will be carried on. Along with vegetables and gourds, there were also sunflowers the size of dinner plates and 12 feet tall.

So that’s all for today.  With blessings,

T